Postpartum Depression Anyone ??
Man let me just start off by saying that being a Wife and mother of a newborn and very active almost 7 year old is tough. Thank god for my therapist I see weekly along with my group of really good friends and the help of my amazing husband. Because when I say postpartum hit me full throttle this pregnancy I MEAN IT !! I’ve been moody, tired, sad, happy, anxious, feeling like I’m not doing enough and the list goes on and on. I’ve felt feelings of loneliness and have at time felt extremely overwhelmed. I’m struggling with feeling like my daughter is being neglected and pushed to the back burner for the new baby, because of all this attention and focus that he needs. Did I mention that I have hemorrhoids due to this last labor ? So you guessed it...my butthole hurts like hell and it especially hurts for me to sit down.
So please listen to me when I say this, if they EVER prescribe you stool softeners after birth or at any point please take them. My pelvic area and abdominal area still hurt sometimes climbing in and out of bed and in and out of the car because my healing process after my son has been kinda slow and different this time around. So also with that being said please don’t be to prideful to take the ibuprofen prescribed after being discharged from the hospital. I’m 3 weeks postpartum and still bleeding on and off due to me “not resting and relaxing enough”! So please try to listen when the doctors and nurses tell you to take it easy after childbirth.
I’ve got low platelets and no one knows why at the moment but they are hoping that it was due to pregnancy and not some malfunction/disease going on in my body. I’m sometimes so busy throughout the day now I’ll forget if I ate or showered all day! On top of all of that lets add in breastfeeding !! Man let me tell you there’s times where I’ve felt like superwoman and there’s times where I’ve felt like I was being crushed by a 10,000lb weight. I know y’all want me to keep it real so that’s what I’m doing. This parenting a newborn and 6 year old is not for the weak ok. I love it though and don’t take it for granted but it’s nothing like I ever expected. My son is super clingy for one. He is definitely the definition of a hold me baby lol. HE DOES NOT LIKE TO BE PUT DOWN.
As far as latching goes he will latch to my breast for 10, 15, 40 minutes at a time but never a set time and still come off of the breast and cry like he’s starving. So naturally I’ve also been following up with formula once he un-latches. Yes at first I felt like a failure and like I was letting myself down along with my husband and child. But then I had to come to the realization that I’m doing THE BEST THAT I CAN DO ! I did at once think I was going to give up completely on breastfeeding but then decided to challenge myself to do something challenging for once. To be accountable for something I SAID I WANTED TO DO ! So I stuck with it and have no problems with him latching at all now. My boobs don’t ever get engorged or hurt. I don’t ever leak unless my son is latched to one boob or the other. And it never hurts while he’s nursing.
So either breastfeeding is going extremely successfully or terribly wrong. Idk but at this very moment my son is sound asleep and has been for the last 20-30 minutes so that means he is officially “asleep enough for me to go lay him in his crib”! Yes I SAID IN HIS CRIB! I’m so proud that Caleb and I said that our son would sleep in his crib and not in our bed and we’ve been STICKING TO THAT ! I am so happy and so proud of us. Next step is to hopefully get my daughter sleeping in her own room and her own bed. So with all that being said I guess right now at 1:21am on this Monday morning since everyone in my house is sound asleep It’s time I take my butt to bed too. My son will be waking up in about 2 hours to eat. Talk to you guys soon with another update of motherhood, marriage and life with 2 kiddos 🏾
P.S Before I go I just want to add that all in all my son is a blessing and so cute. He’s literally perfect in every way and way more then I could have ever asked of god. I couldn’t be more thankful and blessed that god saw me fit to be his mommy ! And my daughter may drive me crazy but she’s also my driving force to be better and do better in this world
by: Ebony Lopez